作品简介

　　不要让讨好型人格，成为你的坏习惯。

　　热衷于取悦他人的你，为什么好心却没有换来好报，反而被人排挤、惹人讨厌？

　　累计临床经验超过80000例的日本超人气咨询师彻底分析“讨好型人格”的心理模式，告诉你“讨好型人格”害己又害人，让你拥有无尽底气，跟“讨好型人格”说再见！

　　“好心”没有好报的人生，你还要继续吗？

　　总是当“好人”的你，不仅“好人没好报”，还让自己的人生暗无天日。

　　时常帮助他人，自己困难时却无人愿意伸出援手。

　　好心分担同事的工作，最后全部的黑锅都由你来扛。

　　老是同情他人，到处救火，忙得焦头烂额。

　　你总是在意他人感受，凡事都以他人为首要考虑。

　　对人掏心掏肺的你，为什么既没有得到回报，还被人排挤、惹人讨厌？当“好人”这么不开心，你为什么要继续？累积临床经验超过80000例的日本知名心理咨询师大岛信赖，从心理学的角度，彻底分析“讨好型人格”的心理模式，告诉你“讨好型人格“害己又害人，让你拥有充分、具体的理由，勇敢跟“讨好型人格”说不！

　　你自以为的同理心还有泛滥的圆情心，只是内心小剧场升华的结果：每当一次好人，你就会累积内心的压力，让大脑产生“全能感’。你会开始进一步想象别人多可怜，有多需要你的帮忙，如果你视若无睹，他将会陷入多么悲惨的境界……

　　“讨好型人格”不会让世界更幸福，只会让你活得很辛苦，告别一切委屈，你该做的第一件事，就是拒绝“讨好型人格”！

　　大岛信赖，日本Insight咨询公司董事长，心理咨询师，畅销书作家，毕业于美国阿斯伯里大学心理学系。

　　从事咨询工作近30年，有丰富的临床经验。独创FAP（Free from Anxiety Program）疗法，擅长提供简单有效的生活技巧指导，帮助咨询者消除负面情绪，引导自我心理成长，在日本有着超高的人气。

　　已出版《不在乎的勇气》《一瞬间改变》《击败孤独》《别丧了，一点也不酷》等多部畅销书。

Introduction of works

Don't let the pleasing personality become your bad habit.

You are keen to please others, why is it that your good intentions do not return good rewards, but are excluded and annoying?

Accumulated clinical experience of more than 80,000 cases of Japanese superpopular consultants thoroughly analyze the psychological model of "ingratiating personality", tell you that "ingratiating personality" harms both yourself and others, so that you have endless confidence, say goodbye to "ingratiating personality"!

"Good" no good life, you still want to continue?

Always when the "good" you, not only "good people do not return good", but also let their life dark.

Always help others, but no one is willing to help them when they are in trouble.

Kindly share the work of colleagues, and finally all the black pot is carried by you.

Always feeling sorry for others, putting out fires all over the place, too busy.

You always care about other people's feelings and put them first.

You pour out your heart to people, why are you not rewarded, but also excluded and hated by people? When the "good guys" are so unhappy, why do you continue? Accumulated clinical experience of more than 80,000 cases of Japanese well-known psychological consultant Oshima trust, from a psychological point of view, thoroughly analyze the psychological model of "please personality", tell you that "please personality" harm yourself and harm others, so that you have sufficient and specific reasons, brave with "please personality" say no!

The empathy you think you have and the overflow of circular heart are just the result of the sublimation of the inner little theater: every time you are good, you will accumulate inner pressure and let the brain produce a sense of omnipotence. You will begin to imagine further how poor the other person is, how much he needs your help, and how miserable he will be if you do not see him...

"Pleasing personality" will not make the world happier, it will only make you live very hard, say goodbye to all grievances, the first thing you should do is to refuse "pleasing personality"!

Obashi Oshima, chairman of Insight Consulting in Japan, psychological consultant, best-selling author, graduated from the Department of Psychology at Asbury University, USA.

He has been engaged in consulting work for nearly 30 years and has rich clinical experience. The original FAP (Free from Anxiety Program) therapy, which is good at providing simple and effective life skills guidance to help counselors eliminate negative emotions and guide self-psychological growth, has a high popularity in Japan.

He has published many bestsellers such as "The Courage not to Care", "Instant Change", "Beating Loneliness" and "Don't lose, It's not cool".