作品简介
这是一本写给父母的家教书。父母在养育孩子的过程中，难免会陷入一些误区：“家是讲爱的地方，不是讲规则的地方”“只要努力学习，成绩就能提高”“电子产品与孩子的健康成长水火不容”……侯老师在本书中，拆解了父母在孩子的品格培养、社交力培养、学习力培养、亲子关系塑造等几方面的常见误区。帮助父母看清孩子行为背后的深层动机，跳出误区，根据孩子不同成长阶段的特点制定“养育规则”。
很多父母不重视，甚至排斥给孩子树立规则，认为这会阻碍孩子自由成长。其实，制定规则不是为了把孩子驯养成“无脑服从”的人，而是为了帮孩子获得自主、自律、自信、自由的能力。好的规则更有利于孩子建立内心秩序，养成安全、稳定的心理环境，也是孩子健康成长的根基。同时，通过规则的建立，也让父母们更容易与孩子达成合作，养成良好的亲子关系，缓解不必要的育儿焦虑。书里提到的“养育规则”，都是作者根据多年儿童心理研究和家庭咨询个案得出的适合中国家庭的、可落地的实操法则。
侯沁舲，中国青少年研究中心高级家庭教育指导师。前新东方家庭教育研究与指导中心学术经理。拥有15年儿童教育及心理行业从业经历，积累了近万个家庭咨询个案，参与全国500场以上家庭教育讲座并担任主讲讲师。编辑家庭教育系列丛书《孩子，我想成为更好的父母》。
擅长儿童及青少年行为习惯调整、情绪与压力疏导，解决亲子关系矛盾、家庭教育纠纷等问题。是两个女孩的父亲。
Introduction of works
This is a home teaching book for parents. In the process of raising children, parents will inevitably fall into some misunderstandings: "home is a place of love, not a place of rules", "as long as you study hard, your performance can be improved", "electronic products and the healthy growth of children are not compatible"... In this book, Mr. Hou breaks down the common misunderstandings of parents in the cultivation of children's character, social ability, learning ability, and parent-child relationship. Help parents see the deep motivation behind their children's behavior, jump out of the misunderstanding, and formulate "parenting rules" according to the characteristics of different growth stages of children.
Many parents do not value, or even reject, setting rules for their children, believing that it will hinder their free growth. In fact, the purpose of making rules is not to domesticate children into "brainless obedience" people, but to help children gain autonomy, self-discipline, self-confidence, and freedom. Good rules are more conducive to children to establish inner order, develop a safe and stable psychological environment, and are also the foundation of children's healthy growth. At the same time, through the establishment of rules, it is also easier for parents to reach cooperation with their children, develop a good parent-child relationship, and alleviate unnecessary parenting anxiety. The "parenting rules" mentioned in the book are all practical rules that are suitable for Chinese families and can be landed based on the author's years of child psychological research and family counseling cases.
Hou Qin 舲, senior family education counselor, China Youth and Children Research Center. Former academic manager of New Oriental Family Education Research and Guidance Center. With 15 years of working experience in the child education and psychological industry, he has accumulated nearly 10,000 family counseling cases, participated in more than 500 family education lectures across the country and served as the main lecturer. Edited the family education series, "Kid, I Want to Be a Better Parent."
He is good at adjusting the behavior habits of children and teenagers, channelling emotions and pressure, and solving parent-child relationship conflicts and family education disputes. He's the father of two girls.
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